Viewpoint / ‘What started as a chore became a pleasure’
A challenge to walk as many steps as possible helped councillor John Fraser pull himself out of a period of depression and lose almost three stone at the start of the year. Here, he talks about how walking helped him through a difficult period.
THE STEP challenge could not have come at a better time for me.
From November my mental health had gone down as a reaction to a life event. To be honest I hadn’t noticed just how much. But friends and colleagues had noticed a change in my demeanour, mood and behaviour.
A few weeks before the step challenge I noticed physical sensations and thought processes that were simultaneously alien and familiar. An absolute light bulb moment occurred when realisation hit that these feelings were those I had as a child as a response to adverse childhood experiences.
Having sought advice from friends who are experienced therapists and GPs it was recognised that I was experiencing a period of depression.
I’ve been sober for approaching six years and this is my first such experience of depressive illness in sobriety.
Previously I would have self-medicated with alcohol. I’m glad to say that the obsession to drink has been lifted and it was never even a thought. I strongly believe that no problem in life is so big that it can’t be made worse by pouring alcohol on top of it.
Pain in life is probably mandatory to allow us to grow. But suffering I’m convinced is optional.
So. What to do?
Fresh air, exercise, diet, sleep and connection with others was required.
My appetite was poor and motivation to cook low. So I batch cooked so that nutritious meals could be microwaved on the poor days.
I made sure I got amongst friends everyday even when compelled to isolate. I made sure I attended to my work responsibilities as not to do so would’ve made my feelings of anxiety and low self-worth worse.
I expanded my reading with good spiritual books that had remained on my bookshelf unopened for too long.
I did service for the recovery community to take me out of myself and spoke openly and honestly to closed mouthed trusted friends both here at home and from my extensive support network and many dear friends on mainland Scotland.
I made plans for football trips and concerts. I went out with my Up Helly Aa squad and bought my folk festival tickets despite my head telling me, ‘I’ll give all that a miss for noo’.
But man. These long dark days with poor weather. Getting outside and exercising was near impossible. I felt I was doing all I could do.
I needed something or someone to make me accountable. As soon as my fellow councillor Moraig Lyall sent the email inviting team members to a step challenge I was in.
There was no way I was gonna be the weak link in the team. I felt accountable and a responsibility to the team. That’s not always great for some, I get that, but it worked for me.
It’s been amazing. What started as a chore became a pleasure. The exercise and fresh air helped my sleep. Every time I was out, I met someone and had a peerie yarn. The exercise improved the appetite and prevented me from ruminating on my troubles.
I also discovered some amazing new music whilst walking. Music is a huge part of my life and the depression had taken me away from it.
To top it off from 1 December to the last day of step challenge I went from 17 stone 5 lbs, to 14 stone 6 lbs.
I’ve needed tae buy new breeks.
I’ll not keep up the half a million steps in four weeks, not a chance, but will aim towards 10 to 15 thousand steps per day. A new healthy habit has been formed.
I’m grateful for the step challenge. It’s helped me greatly through a difficult period.
John walked a total of 224.4 miles across the four-week challenge, taking 501,634 steps.
