Shetland Lives / ‘Unforgettable moment’ as mother meets son nearly 60 years after parting ways
Andy was put up for adoption as a baby, but has now been reunited with his Shetland birth mother 59 years later – and has met his two brothers for the first time too
IT WAS an incredible moment a long time in the making – around 59 years to be exact.
This was the moment, at the end of May, when Shetlander Rose Murchison met her son Andy for the first time since he was born in 1965.
Andy had been put up for adoption after being born in Scotland’s Central Belt, and Rose – who moved back to Shetland – never saw him again.
That was until, nearly six decades later, Andy – who lives in Musselburgh – tracked her down and his birth mum felt the time was right to reach out to her long-lost son.
It was also the first time her two other sons Stephen and Raymond Murchison – who have the same dad as Andy – got the chance to meet him too, having been unaware that they had another brother for most of their lives.
Speaking to Shetland News about the family reunion, Rose, 77, said seeing Andy for the first time since he was a baby was an “unforgettable moment”.
Rose, Stephen and Raymond met up with Andy in Ratho near Edinburgh at the end of the May.
It marked the end of decades of curiosity for Andy who had extensively researched his birth family history but was not able to make proper contact with them.
“Within moments, literally moments, I didn’t feel as if I was sitting among strangers,” he said as he reflected on their meet-up in May.
“Rose and I have got a similar sense of humour and similar personalities. We just hit it off straight away.”
Since their meeting in May, Andy has been to Shetland to see his extended family and delve into his roots – and also to attend the Simmer Dim bikers’ rally, which brother Stephen helps to organise.
The story began back in 1965, when Rose – a Shetlander who had moved south and married on the mainland – gave birth to Andy.
But she said due to “family pressures” he was placed for adoption.
Andy was taken in by a family in Musselburgh and given the surname Gray. He was told when he was an older boy that he had been adopted.
He had a very happy childhood alongside a sister who had also been adopted, having been brought up by two “very loving parents” in John and Agnes Gray, who have since passed away.
As Andy become older, however, his curiosity around the identity of his birth parents grew.
He was given encouragement to try to trace his roots, and set out in the late 1990s on a quest to track his birth parents down.
This was before the internet era, and Andy said he had to thumb through many paper files and records in search for information.
He started off by trying to find the original adoption agency. While that does not exist as an entity anymore, information was still available to him through another agency.
“I managed to make inroads there and find out who my birth mother was, who my birth father was,” Andy said.
“There was no internet that I had access back in those days, so I went into the Registers of Scotland every now and again – good old spade work with paper files, and microfiche files – I just sat for hours on end scurrying through things.”
During his research Andy – who was raising two children of his own at the time – found out that his birth mum and dad were married when he was born, that he had two full brothers and that his birth parents were now in Shetland.
He also learnt that he was not placed for adoption because his birth parents did not want him.
After trying to make contact through an adoption agency, a meeting had been planned down south in the mid-2000s but that did not materialise after Rose broke her ankle.
But Rose, who stays in Shetland’s Westside, said she had a fear of the “unknown” – while she also hinted at being worried over what people might think if all was revealed.
Andy had a connection on his wife’s side in Shetland who was able to provide some updates on developments with the Murchisons, but he said his family and friends were forbidden from trying to make any contact with them.
As he did not know the exact situation, he said he did not want to cause any upset by getting in touch with the family out of the blue or uninvited such as by making a trip to Shetland.
Andy conceded he was all but resigned to not meeting his birth mum – but all that changed earlier this year.
The long story short is that come 2024 Rose felt it was the right time to meet Andy.
His birth father Sam Murchison had previously passed away, so it was just Rose, Raymond and Stephen who took the trip south to meet Andy.
The meeting took place at Ratho, not too far from Edinburgh, on 31 May this year.
Andy had actually been in touch with Raymond and Stephen on the phone prior to the big day, enjoying lengthy calls as they got to know each other, but Rose wanted to hold off contact until they met in person.
She said her legs were shaking as the big moment arrived, adding that she was a “bag of nerves”.
“When I came over the hill and I saw him standing there…I thought, ‘there he is’,” she recalled. “At first glance he looked like his dad.”
Andy, on the other hand, said he was not too anxious – “it’s my mum and my two brothers, what have I got to be nervous about?”.
“Literally the second Rose stepped out the car, I just got a grip of her and gave her a big hug,” he said.
“There were happy tears. She wrapped her arms back around me and said ‘oh my boy’.”
The newly acquainted family then went off for lunch – Rose admitted she did not manage to eat much due to the emotions of the occasion – and Andy said the four of them were “chatting as if we’d known each other for years”.
The four of them then spent time together over a few days before Rose, Raymond and Stephen headed back to Shetland.
Rose added that there are “no words” to express the happiness the pair felt on the day of their family reunion.
There is a lot to catch up on – nearly 60 years – so Andy is now a regular visitor to Shetland, and Rose is heading south again soon too.
There is no doubt a weight is now lifted off the shoulders of both mother and son, for different reasons.
For both sides of the tale there are also many new extended family members to meet and greet. On the Murchisons’ side, it is a case of meeting a family member they never knew existed.
Andy, meanwhile, also noted some uncanny similarities between him and his brothers despite having never met them in person before.
“A lot of things I do – eating habits, mannerisms, things that I do in general life…you assume you pick it up from siblings, but I grew up 600 miles south of these guys,” he said. “Some of the similarities you couldn’t make up.”
Andy said the whole story has received an “overwhelming” and positive response from family and friends.
Having been on the lookout for his birth family for decades, he is certainly making up for lost time – and you certainly do not blame him.
“I phone or FaceTime Rose every day now. I give her a message when I wake up in the morning, and I give her a message before I go to sleep at night,” Andy said.
“I’m really grateful that she has [decided to get in contact], because she is a fantastic woman.”
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